Saturday, January 25, 2014

Bed Rest

Last week, I had an emergency appendectomy. It was the most painful, unfortunate, and embarrassing day of my life which is as specific as you probably want me to get. I’ll just leave you with this special moment: when the ER nurse tried explaining the procedure to me, I turned to Nathan and loudly announced “I just want her to get this bitch out of me.”

Thanks to everyone who was nice to me while I was in the hospital, especially my parents. They were halfway to Jackson Hole when they found out I was having surgery. They turned all the way around just to watch me eat ice chips in a hospital bed.


Aaaaaannnnyway, I’ve been on bed-rest for the last ten days which has given me plenty of time to write about myself. With the exception of my recent health issues, I have been so happy with my life in 2014.

Did you know I finally graduated? After 5 long years at Weber State, I received a Bachelor’s Degree in Accounting. I’m so happy to close that chapter of my life. Sure, there are definitely some people who love college. I just don’t think those people are full-time accounting students who are also working 35 hours a week in an accounting office. Thank heavens it’s over ya’ll.

As of now, I have full-time accounting job that I love. My favorite part is my office in Downtown SLC. I can walk to City Creek on my lunch break, Coffee Garden is right across the street, I’m in walking distance of three bookstores, and there are tons of restaurants that make it really hard to maintain a healthy diet.

As a final note, here are some pictures of my one year-old (one! I can’t believe he is one!) nephew cramming his face with cupcakes for his first birthday. I love you Ewan, you’ll always be my little munchkin.


Sunday, August 25, 2013

Things I Think About

Things I think about.

1. I’ve always wondered if mine and Nate’s relationship would feel different if/when we got married (for a long time we both thought marriage seemed a little unnecessary). In a very lovely way, I do feel a bit changed. My heart is….. calm. It’s nice.

2. I have horrible sleeping habits. Lately, I have horrible everything habits. Is August too late to make a New Year's Resolution?

3. I hate that I have two cats.

4. I adore my cats.

5. I’m realizing more and more that I am not the kind of person who makes “informed decisions.” I don’t weigh pros and cons or try to see every possible outcome. I’m really impulsive in most of my decision making, I just automatically know what I want. The heart wants what it wants, right?  I wonder if this is a bad thing.

6. I like that I’m turning 23 next week. Becoming an adult who makes adult decisions (even misguided decisions) has felt incredibly empowering.

8. Remember earlier when I said I never think things through? Yeah, I’ve decided it is a bad thing. A few nights ago I pulled out my eyelash extensions because I was sick of them. I didn’t think about how I wouldn’t have any eyelashes left or it might be better if I had a professional do it. Nope... I just had to have them out, so out they came. Now I look completely ridiculous.
Also, last winter I just HAD to HAVE Zooey Deschanel-esque thick, straight-across bangs. Every once in a while they looked cute, but for the most part they were just a giant inconvenience. Bangs are a long term choice ladies (like rescuing a cat). Now I have all these short, stumpy hair strands that refuse to grow and clearly I did not learn my lesson.

9. Tomorrow I start the final semester of my college career and I’m honestly not even the slightest bit worried about it. I haven’t even purchased a textbook yet. I just have this feeling that everything is going to be okay. Who am I.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013


I’m lucky enough to call these 5 girls my best friends, and even luckier they agreed to be my bridesmaids. I wanted to give them each a little shout out (in alphabetical order, I'm so democratic).

Corrine is SUCH a good BFF, except I don’t ever call her by her real name. She has had the following nicknames over the years: Rin, Connie, Con, Cronnie, Corn, Corn Dog, and finally Corn Hole. I really doubt she likes being called Corn Hole, but she doesn’t complain that much. That’s how good of a friend she is. We’ve been bff's since 4th grade and she’s always been better than me at EVERYTHING. Like this one time, she made me try out for basketball in 9th grade and even though she is 5 inches shorter than me, she kicked my butt and made the team. I did not... But neither did Rosie, who also tried out for some inexplicable reason.  Anyway, Corrine is really loyal and so supportive. This one time I was sad and she literally showed up at my house with a laundry basket full of kittens to cheer me up. Just knowing, I have friend like her by my side has been so helpful in my life. Love you Corn Hole Face Dog.  

Moe is the sweetest, most fun girl in my life. She never brings any drama or says mean things and she always makes friends wherever we go. We both cry a lot. I'm almost positive she cried in the Justin Beiber movie. So when I called her and told her I got engaged, it was kiiinnnda emotional. I mean, I wouldn’t compare myself to Beiber, but ya know. We played soccer together for like 10 years. Soccer tournaments with Moe were the best thing of my life. We always went shopping and out to eat between games.  One time we slept in her trailer for three days parked next to our soccer field. We will forever be bonded by our time together as Warriors. Also, I’m pretty sure she has ordered Mac and Cheese off of the kid’s menu at every restaurant in the greater Utah area. Now I’m just listing random facts. Did you know she also runs marathons? What a champ. She currently lives in Provo but I'm trying my hardest to make her come home. Consider yourself kidnapped, homegirl. 
Rachface is the keeper of all of my secrets.  Sometimes, I think she knows me better than I know myself. She is the girl I call first, because I know she won’t judge anything that comes out of my mouth. I say some really crappy stuff sometimes and she just laughs at me. We’ve been BFF’s for so long that I really don’t know how it all began. We have made up a million inside jokes over the past 22 years and we still reference them a lot. “MILHOUSE… WORD”, “Hey Mrs. Coleslaw, sorry I murdered your husband”, “SUPER TALL BOYFRIENDS”, “Keebler Elf.” On, the more serious side, Rachel is a really strong girl. I feel like we’ve both helped each other through a lot of shit times. You know that song by Train that goes “something, something, best friend always sticking up for you, even when they know you’re wrong something, something” that’s how I feel about Rach, she’s got my back and I’ve got her’s. I know she will always be my friend, and that makes me really happy. Love you like bro and a sis.  

Rosie was the sister I never had.  I secretly think my parents liked her a little bit more than they liked me all those years, she was significantly less sassy. We practically shared a closet. Honestly, it got to the point when I didn’t know who bought what and when. She has seen me cry 4.7 million times and I have seen her cry once. To be fair, I think she has only cried 2 times in her life. We went to each other’s family parties and family vacations. I had a mattress pad permanently situated on my floor so she could sleep over every weekend.  She took me to school every morning. My Dad used to buy Miracle Whip and keep it in our fridge because she didn’t like mayo.  I even named my dog after her, mostly because I thought it was funny. Rosie pooped on the floor haha! Yeah, it was only funny for about a week and a half. Don’t name your pets after your best friend. It just turns into a confusing mess. We used to sneak out of my Dad’s house in the middle of the night and do stupid, but sometimes awesome, but mostly stupid stuff. We put a tree on Daniel Kesler’s car one night (awesome). We would go to the graveyard with boys to see some ghost I still don’t believe exists (stupid). She moved to American Fork to be married and start a dog family. I miss her all the time. So I send her a lot of annoying texts and comment on everything she does on Instagram. Just like a good sister should. Also, we pinky swore if one of us got a boob job the other one would too. If that doesn't say best friends, I don't know what does.

So, the Goddard School of Business at Weber State University is full of 28 year old men who have wives and two to three children at home and are trying to step up the corporate ladder by getting a business degree... and then there is me and Shanna. You know those people that you are just instantly friends with? That’s me and Shan. We bonded over our love of clothes and the fact that we were by far the youngest people in the accounting program. I also swear we are destined to be twins for life.  We always show up with the EXACT same computer/planner/shoes/lipgloss, always. She’s graduating this spring, and even though I’m proud of her, I’m sad that after ALL THOSE YEARS of awful professors/tests/assignments, we won’t be walking together. She is the only person who can truly understand how college destroyed my soul. That was a joke, my soul is still intact (barely). She has been a really great support system and role model for me and I’m so grateful for her friendship.


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Aloha Utah

To plan a wedding in Hawaii, you need a great deal of patience. You can’t be the kind of girl who loses her shit when her wedding planner takes 9 days to return your phone call. You need to be able to go with the flow. When people refuse to give you information without a down payment, you must keep calm and not scream “UNACCEPTABLE” out loud, in front of your coworkers.

Unfortunately, I am not that kind of girl.

So I politely said “no thank you” to my Hawaiian contract and I am getting married in Utah. Destination-wedding planning is serious business. I was kind of na├»ve in thinking I could just call my wedding planner and have her take care of everything. Every time I got over one issue, another would pop up and I never seemed to be making progress. I’d call my wedding planner like 80 times, and her response would come a week and a half later in the form of a bizarre email sent at 7 am Utah time (so 3 am in Hawaii). What a weirdo. I tried (admittedly, not very hard) looking for other wedding planners and they all acted about the same way.


Nate and I are getting married because we love each other and we would like to celebrate that love. We already live together and our lives are already incredibly intertwined (i.e. he has to ask me how old HIS siblings are), so getting married isn’t going to drastically change our lives. That being said, I feel like there is no reason for us to have an unpleasant wedding. I just want it to be happy and stress-free (I know, easier said than done). Most of all, I would prefer to stop leaving sassy voicemails and writing angry e-mails to wedding vendors who are a million miles away. It’s kind of hard to balance my chakras when I’m verbally assaulting people.

That’s a joke, I didn’t verbally assault anyone.

I feel so much happier getting married in Utah. Really this is not a sad post, I am so relieved. When Nate told me he really didn’t care WHERE we got married, I started jumping for joy (on the inside, because we were in a car at the time). Planning the wedding in Utah is already ten times more fun! Our actual wedding is still going to be very very small, but this way I can have a better reception and see EVERYONE that I love. Also, thank you to all of my friends and family who have been so understanding and nice throughout this process. I’m lucky to be surrounded by the best.
Footnote: I got the CUTEST idea from someone’s blog (I’d post the link if I could remember) about making a book out of all the blog posts you write up until your wedding day. I loved the idea, so all of my posts will probably be wedding related. Yep, I steal people’s ideas.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

It's a Love Story

In August or maybe January (destination-wedding planning is difficult), this man will be pronounced my husband. We started dating 7 years ago, and I’m happy beyond words that we will be together for the rest of our lives.

Nate and I fell in love when we were both 16. This fact still amazes me because I was kind of a little shit in high school. I had awful black hair that matched my awful attitude, so I’m not quite sure how anyone could have fallen in love with me, but somehow Nathan did. I can’t say it was love at first sight. The first night we met, we had somehow ended up riding in the same car to a party together. He thought I was a brat and he was pissing me off. Such tender memories. 

A week later we had a much better interaction. I had been assigned to take care of one of those fake babies for my Adult Roles class. I was having trouble carrying my pretend baby in her car seat and all of my soccer crap (I used to be athletic) at the same time. Nate spotted me in the commons and helped me carry my stuff out to the parking lot. Together we named my baby Lil’ Kim, and from that moment on we were best friends.

 --Unrelated sidebar: despite my recently assigned mothering duties, I wanted to go tanning so I left Lil’ Kim alone in the lobby of the tanning salon for approximately 15 minutes.  I’m going to make a horrible mother someday.

Nate was and is the most genuinely kind person I know. It wasn’t instant love, but our relationship instantly felt… significant. Deep down, I knew he was going to be a big part of my life. We were really good friends for about a year. My feelings for him grew and he eventually ended up tricking me into kissing him in Aaron Froerer’s basement, underneath a bean bag (smooth Nathan, smooth) on December 21, 2006. I have been kissing him ever since that day. 

Over the course of the last seven years, Nate has seen the best and worst
moments of my life. He has seen the shittiest parts of me and he is still by my side. We have grown up together in love. I think that’s something rare in this world, so I feel very lucky every single day. I love his sweet family and my family adores him. We just fit so well together. Things weren’t always easy, but breaking up was never an option for us. We have always taken our relationship very seriously.

We aren’t exactly the traditional Utah love story, because you know, we kind of already live together. But I love our life so much. It’s funny how life works out. If you would have asked me in high school what I wanted my life to look like at 22. I probably would have said that I wanted to marry Nathan in Hawaii and have a bunch of animals. That’s exactly what I have.  I fall asleep every night with a smile on my face and truly with all my heart, I am so happy.

I love you Nathan James Hawkes and I can’t wait to be your wife. 

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Day of Love

Sooo.... I really love Valentine's Day. I ALWAYS have. I think it's because it's the only holiday that Nate and I can do whatever we want. Also, I really just love Nathan.
I wanted to do something special this year and my coworker gave me the cute idea to do 14 days of Valentines! I gave Nate a different present each morning, starting on February 1st and ending on V-Day. Every present had a cute little saying to go along with it. I also wrote two poems, one to start the 14 days and one to conclude.
I couldn't really keep track of all the hearts with the sayings on them #catproblems. But here is a breakdown of what I did:
Day 1: Lucky Brand Boxers - "I am so LUCKY your mine."
Day 2: Mints - "We were MINT to be."
Day 3: A V-Day chocolate bar with cute sayings - "This bar says it all."
Day 4: iLuv Brand Headphones: "iLuv U!"
Day 5: Nuts - "I'm NUTS over you!"
Day 6: Peach O's - "I'm PEACHY keen on you."
Day 7: Orange Soda - "ORANGE you glad we met?"
Day 8: Soap - "You make my heart BUBBLE over."
Day 9: Highlighter - "You are the HIGHLIGHT of my life."
Day 10: Gummy Bears: "I love you BEARY much."
Day 11: Trail Mix: "I'd be so MIXED up without you!"
Day 12: Socks -  "Life would SOCK without you!"
Day 13: Candle - "You are too hot to handle, just like this CANDLE."
Day 14: A shaving case- "Just in CASE you forgot, I love you!"
I also bought him some new dress clothes, to give him on Valentine's Day :)

 He was really really sweet and got me some AMAZING flowers, and a cute new robe from Victoria's Secret along with some chocolates.

Okay, the chocolates were super cute. But they tasted like straight up perfume. I couldn't decide if VS meant them to be chocolates or perfume... It was weird... I still ate most of them.
This was our SEVENTH (holy crap) Valentine's Day together. And I really felt like it the most special one yet!
Hope your V-Day was as good as mine!

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Hey, Remember Me?

So a few months ago I decided to delete my blog. As you can see, I have made a major life decision (gasp) and have reinstated

I don't have Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Mostly because I am technologically disabled. But I know how to blog! So here we are.

A lot has happened since I last blogged! After six years together, Nate (see sidebar for reference if you have no idea who the hell I am) and I decided to get married, have a baby, buy a home, move into an apartment!

My man in my kitchen.

We should have done this years ago! I absolutely love my little life with him. We have two cats, barf. I never wanted to be a crazy cat lady, but we are who we are I suppose.

We found little Oliver starving/freezing to death in the snow. I couldn't resist bringing him home and I love him to death (again, see sidebar for reference).

On the downside, he is kind of a weirdo.
I don't know if anyone still blogs, or if any of my old followers will get updates from this blog. So I'm not sure if anyone will ever read this, but for anyone who does, yaaaay my blog is back!